The sermon in C-sharp major. The casting out of weevils. The refusal to mourn the death, by fire, of Lazarus in Bethany. The massacre of the innocents. The massacre of the guilty. The ad hoc lecture on how to win converts and massacre people. The raising of Lazarus. The raising of Jairus’s daughter. The sound of evil laughter coming from Lazarus’s bedroom. The climactic final battle on the Temple Mount with Lazarus, Lord of Darkness and Commander of the Armies of Anubis. The pre-emptive beheading of Jairus’s daughter. The fashioning of Lazarus’s bones into drinking vessels and musical instruments. The triumphal entry into Jerusalem on a white stallion named Donkey. The audition before Pilate. The cancellation of season two.
Now the rest of the acts of Jesus Cabrón, and all that he did, are they not written in the Gospel of Basilides?